Decisions, decisions

The Washington Post reports that

State lawmakers are debating whether to designate a semiautomatic pistol as the official gun of Utah, despite protests from people who say they think it’s inappropriate because of recent mass shootings.

The measure has some surface logic, considering that the gun in question was invented by Utah native John Browning a hundred years ago.

The whole thing is nonetheless a farce, and not because it’s inappropriate due to “recent mass shootings.” (Screw that. If, say, Michigan wanted to honor the Ford Model T, few would protest despite the fact that the vehicle’s successors are now involved in more than 30,000 U.S. fatalities a year).

Rather, the “official gun of Utah” discussion is a farce because grown men and women, elected to do the people’s business, are squandering their time and our money to pursue perfectly inconsequential twaddle.

And it’s not just Utah.

• New Jersey is the home of the knobbed whelk (the official seashell), the honeybee (insect), the brook trout (fish) and the square dance (folk dance).

• At least 19 states have designated an official soil.

• In February, legislators in Maine debated earnestly whether the official state dessert should be whoopie pie or blueberry pie.

If they saw an iceberg looming from the deck of the Titanic, no doubt these people would begin a vigorous discussion on what to do — order a Gin Fizz or a Singapore Sling.