• What, no taser?
• Guess whose shitlist you get put on when you dare complain about the TSA.
• Speaking of crap: If your mailman is anything like this mailman, you might want to wear latex gloves when you open your bills.
• Police in New Hampshire charge man with unlawful “interception of oral communications” for using his phone during a traffic stop. The call was a crime, officers say, because the driver ended up leaving a voice-mail message; that recording possibly captured cops’ communications “without their consent.”
• When the government offers gambling services to willing patrons, that’s called a lottery. When entrepreneurs offer gambling services to willing patrons, that’s called a crime and they’ll be prosecuted, jailed, and made penniless. Clear?
• Man has seizure at grandmother’s funeral. Gaggle of cops shows up to handcuff him. Then, of course, it’s time to pepper-spray the mourners who try to explain the situation.