Got a plugged-up drain? If you live in Illinois and are thinking of buying Drano or Liquid-Plumr, better bring an ID. You’ll be asked to show it and sign for your purchase.
That’s mostly because some evil asswipe threw acid in a woman’s face in Chicago three years ago. Hence the new measure.
The legislators, however, were kind enough to offer this reassurance:
If the law proves to be overly burdensome, it can be changed.
That’s great. Or they could try not to pass bewildering, ineffective, time-wasting laws in the first place.
Am I missing something? Exactly how would a past acid attack have been prevented if the perpetrator had been required to show ID when he bought the Drano? Or future attacks, for that matter?
And can we now look forward to the same legislative response to an attack with, say, a hammer? No more hammer purchases without an ID and a signature, then? How about a screwdriver? An ice pick? A steak knife?
I suppose the purchase of landscaping rocks, building bricks, and two-by-fours should also be restricted. In fact, state registries should probably be kept for all buyers of anything that could ever be used to attack another person. Public safety demands it.
Rogier is a Dutch-born, New-England-dwelling multi-media maven (OK, a writer and photographer) whose dead-tree publishing credits include the New York Times, Wired, Rolling Stone, Playboy, and Reason.